Asystole

Sep 29, 2025

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Will that time return to me? A hopeful wish

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Seconds move forward

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The chaos holds no purpose.

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I find that only my reflection stays still.

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That hollow feeling tempts death.

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Time, please, how about a surprise?

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A flash of light reveals the truth—the surprise.

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Wait, I don’t think I want that wish

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Wallowing in the dark brings only death.

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Yet, I am used to the pain of a reality that never moves forward.

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That old perception kept me still.

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A life of deception has no purpose.

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What was my life worth? What was my purpose?

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Life never changes; it only suffers. It won’t be a surprise.

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Though at times, I would stand behind the camera for a still

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Hoping to produce an image I could look back on, but it was another hopeless       wish.

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For a life that moves forward

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So I sat and waited for my timely death.

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I was told to practice ‘self-compassion,’ but an unworthy life is affirmed by death.

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‘Since we all have it,’ I reply, ‘how can I find my purpose?’

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I’ve neglected my garden. I only hold dead seeds with no way forward.

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‘A seed must die to grow honey,’ they say. I didn’t know...another surprise.

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I was nothing. I had nothing, not even a wish.

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But fear took over every time I tried, holding those pills still.

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With shaky hands, I looked back at that reflection and questioned, ‘Alive…still?’

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I close my eyes. Why won’t I disappear? Life, punish me with death!

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No light, no love, no peace, not even a wish.

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A lost purpose

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What a surprise

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Of course, I thought there was no way forward.

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But when I took pills, nothing happened. Life moved forward.

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I figured it was time to listen and stay still.

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Each beep came as a surprise.

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Then it was on to the bug house, but there was no death.

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Only time for a new quest: The pursuit of my life’s purpose.

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I wanted it back. Is it possible to do a callback on a wish?

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I no longer need a surprise. My life has moved forward.

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God granted my wish. I have now found peace in being still.

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That quick glimpse at death showed me that there is more to life, and it is called purpose.